Scene One: Girls Aloud are going about their ordinary daily lives at GA Towers (they call it that, but actually it's just a standard two-strorey semi-, but Nicola sleeps in the makeshift loft 'conversion'. So technically it's three storeys). The doorbell rings and Cheryl anwers.
Cheryl: "I thought I told you's not to bother us again, or ya for it!"
Lily: "Erm, sorry Lady Cole, w,w,we just wanted to know if Sarah's playin' out"
Cheryl: "You've got a nerve! Hold on a second. Saz! your mates are here" - she shouts
Sarah runs down the stairs and to the front door.
Sarah: "Hi guys! Are we goin' down the park?"
Charlotte: "Yeah, defo!"
Sarah: "Oh Cheryl, can I play out please, pleeease?"
Cheryl: "I dunno, ask mam!"
Sarah: "Mum, can I go to the park with Lils and Charl?"
Kimberley: (from the kitchen) "Yes, okay. Just don't be too late. It's fish fingers for tea tonight"
Sarah: "Mmm, yummy!"
Lily: "Have you got your 'apple juice' (wink, wink)?"
Sarah: "Hold on. Mum can you get me that bottle of apple juice"
Kimberley comes to the front door.
Kimberley: "Oh hello you two! No Sarah, I threw your apple juice away. It smelt like it was going off and it was all fizzing! Sorry darling"
Charlotte: "That's okay, we can get another bottle from the offy, erm, corner shop on the way".
Kimberley: "Oh okay then. Have a nice time Sarah".
Lily & Charlotte: "Bye Mrs Aloud, bye Che... Lady Cole"
Cheryl: "Whatever"
Kimberley: "Back for 5:30, okay Sarah love"
Sarah, Lily and Charlotte walk out of the drive. Kimberley closes the door.
Sarah: "Yeah 5:30 AM!". The girls snigger as they walk off.
Cheryl: "Mam, are you blind?! Those two blatantly had booze on them. They're just gonna go and get pissed down the park!"
Kimberley: "Oh don't be silly. They're not that bad, and I know Sarah wouldn't dream of drinking alcohol.
Cheryl: "God, you're so naive. Sarah shouldn't be hanging around with that pair of scummy bitches. They're a bad influence!"
Kimberley: "Now Cheryl, I don't want to hear that sort of smutty language in this house please. I agree, they wouldn't be my first choice of friends for Sarah. But everybody needs friends. Just because they come from a slightly poorer area, and they can be a bit rude, that doesn't make them horrible people"
Cheryl: "Mam, they both live a few doors down. And haven't you read what they've said about me in the papers?!"
Nadine hears the arguing and shouts from upstairs.
Nadine: "Cheryl. Come here now"
Kimberley: "You'd better go love"
Cheryl runs upstairs and enters Nadine's room, where she is sat on her throne, cocktail in hand. Nicola is giving her a pedicure.
Cheryl: "Yes, your majesty"
Nadine: "You didn't knock!"
Cheryl: "Yeah, but you called me"
Nadine: "I don't care!" - Nadine snaps, glaring at Cheryl
Cheryl: "But..."
Nadine: "Now, go out and knock"
Cheryl: "Ah, for fuck's..."
Nadine: "Out and knock! I'll only tell you once!"
Cheryl: "You told me twice" - Cheryl smirks
Nadine glares at Cheryl - Long silence.
Nadine: "You do know that you're only in this band because of me!"
Cheryl: "Well actually I think you'll find it was the public's choice..."
Nadine: "Don't be ridiculous. I pitied you, so I pulled a few strings with Mr Walsh, and after a lot of convincing and a large sum of money, I got you in"
Cheryl: "Erm, I don't remember that..."
Nadine: "Yes, and your place in the band is still up in the air you know. You haven't earned a permanent place like my other girls"
Cheryl: "You mean I'm not willing to suck up like the others"
Nadine: "They adore me! They look up to me and respect me like any budding singer should"
Cheryl: "Yes, okay so..."
Nadine: "Sarah, Kimberley and Jane treat me like the queen I am"
Cheryl: "Who's Jane?... Anyway, what, what was it you wanted?"
Nadine: "It's the album. Have you finished it yet? We're all waiting for you now, you know. We'll never have it finished by Christmas at this rate!"
Cheryl: "Well, av been busy..."
Nadine: "What? Holidaying with Ashley, househunting with Ashley, babymaking with Ashley? I should never have let you go out with that man!"
Cheryl: "Well actually we're marr... erm, yeah about the album - what about the other girls? I haven't seen them in the studio lately"
Nadine: "Come off it, you know their parts only take half an hour max. to record. Useless peasants"
Cheryl: "That's not fair! You're exaggerating! And don't be so direspectful. Nicola's right there"
Nadine: "Who's Nicola?"
Cheryl: "The girl down in front of you, cleaning the fluff out from between your toes..."
Nadine: "Oh, you mean Jane! I always thought she was called Jane. You don't mind me calling you Jane, do you darling?"
Nicola: "Well, actually..."
Nadine: "Good. By the way, I want Rose Pink today, okay?"
Cheryl: "You're unbelievable, Nadine"
Nadine: "I've warned you!"
Kimberley: (from downstairs) "Dinner's ready!"
Nadine: "Oooh, that was quick. What have we got today?"
Cheryl & Nicola: (with scrunched faces) "Fish Fingers"
Nadine: "Oh, for fuck's sake"
Scene Two: It's 10pm. Sarah is still at the park with friends Charlotte and Lily. Charlotte has passed out in a pool of her own vomit. Sarah and Lily are both a little worse for wear after consuming large quantities of Stella and White Lightning. They are on the swings.
Sarah: "Oh, I wish they'd just get the message. I've started an acting career, I've modelled underwear, I'm always late for our appointments (hic). I've fed the tabloids endless rumours that I'm leaving. Why won't they just kick me out?"
Lily: "'Cos they're bitches, man. They're torturing you. Especially that Cheryl"
Sarah: "Lily, they're still my friends okay, so shut up"
Lily: "Sorry but they're just no good for. You're hardcore like me and Charl"
Sarah: "Yeah, I am though, aren't I?"
Lily: "Yes you are. And one day we're gonna form a badass supergroup. It would be bad man!"
Sarah: "Yeah man, we'd sell millions, I know it!"
Lily: "We'll be amazing. Charlotte with her opera shit, you with your rocky edge. And me with my gangsta style..."
Sarah: "Gangsta style? What are you on about?"
Lily: "You know, 'I iz a mad bitch, a massiv bitch, an I'll mash you up if you step to me'"
Sarah: "Oh, what are you talking about Lily...?"
Lily: "Come on, we'd be amazing!"
Sarah: "You don't half talk some shit sometimes. I'm out of here, losers"
Lily: "But Sarah... Come back!"
Sarah walks away and Lily starts crying as she falls backwards off her swing.
Scene Three: Back at GA Towers, Nicola and Cheryl are sat at the table in the kitchen-diner. Kimberley is outside in the garden with Justin. Nadine is back on her throne, upstairs.
Nicola: "No, my hair is better. Red is back in. Didn't you know that?"
Cheryl: "So why have you dyed it blonde then?"
Nicola: "It's strawberry blonde actually. Which is nearly red"
Cheryl: "Well guys prefer brunettes. I've got a hotter bloke. How do you explain that, huh?"
Nicola: "Whatever. Carl's got a bigger co.."
The doorbell rings.
Cheryl: "How the fuck do you know?"
Nicola: "Wouldn't you like to know"
The doorbell rings again
Cheryl: "Yes I fuckin' would! That's why I asked!"
Nicola: "Well I ain't tellin'"
Sarah: (from outside front door) "Let me in!"
The doorbell rings repeatedly
Nadine: (from upstairs) "Door!"
Cheryl walks towards the front door.
Cheryl: (to Nicola) "You've got some explaining to do, bitch"
Cheryl opens the door to let Sarah in.
Cheryl: "Oh, it's you"
Sarah walks in looking a bit of a state.
Nicola: "Drunk again, are we?"
Sarah: "No, I've only had a bit"
Sarah and Cheryl join Nicola at the table
Sarah: "Anyway, I've got something to tell you"
Cheryl: "Oh, not this again"
Nadine: (from upstairs) "Who is it?"
Nicola & Cheryl: "Sarah!"
Sarah: "I don't appreciate the way you've beeen treating me, and..."
Nicola: "Oh what! Don't you start moaning. At least you've got a bed to sleep in!"
Sarah: "Yeah but..."
Cheryl: "And don't bother lecturing us about this. It's Queen Nadine upstairs you should be moaning at, deluded old witch"
Sarah: "But I'm not happy..." - Sarah stars crying
Nicola: "It'll be okay. The good parts of the job outweigh the bad. You know that"
Cheryl: "And we're on tour again in a few months. Just hold it together!"
Nicola: "'Ang on, what's that smell?"
Kimberley staggers in from the garden with boyfriend, Justin.
Nicola: "Oh, I should've guessed"
Kimberley sees Justin to the front foor and smacks his bum as he walks out
Kimberley: "Bye honey!"
Kimberley shuts the door and sits down with the others.
Cheryl: "I wish you wouldn't do that, mam. It turns you into a complete moron"
Kimberley: "Oh how else am I supposed to stay so calm all the time? It's the stress of the job, you know!"
Nicola: "You're almost as bad as Sarah"
Sarah: "Listen guys..."
Cheryl: "At least mam's not a slut like you, Nicola"
Nicola: "You bitch, who are you calling a slut?
Kimberley: "Oh, I'm so in love"
Nadine walks downstairs in her pink fluffy gown
Nadine: "What is all this shouting about? I put a roof over your heads, and this is how you repay me?!"
Cheryl: "What are you on about? We all pay rent. Except, oh yeah, av had to fork out for yours for the last two months, Nadine!"
Nadine: "How dare you!"
Sarah: "Can you all just SHUT UUUP!"
All the girls stare at Sarah, startled. Sarah stands up.
Sarah: "I've been talking to Lily and Charlotte today..."
Cheryl: "Twats"
Sarah: "And we've decided that... that I'm leaving the band!"
All the girls gasp in shock. Kimberley starts crying.
Will Sarah leave the band? Will they finish the album before Christmas? Find out in the next episode of What Did The Neighbours Say?: The Secret Life of Girls Aloud - Coming Soon.
